Our Distorted Concept of Fairness Makes Us Feel Life Is Unfair
If you have problems in life, you tend to put blame on life circumstances considering them unfair. The matter is that the laws our life is governed by differ from what we usually think of them. Once you are able to learn these laws, you will learn how to live a happy life.
Law № 1: Competitive struggle is the life synonym
It is difficult to realize, but we are constantly competing to be noticed and recognized. Everything is measured in the degrees of comparison: more, better, faster, or greater. It is not a pleasant idea, but it is true. Otherwise children would never be taught to go on despite challenges.
Our world happens to be civilized enough not to let us kill each other in order to become more successful. It provides us with endless opportunities and eventually it is up to us to use them or not.
So, the first step to win is to realize that you are competing to win and go for it.
Law № 2. These are your deeds and not your words that define you
The members of any community or society are judged by the extent of their contribution to it and by how they can be valuable for any other member of it. Our own idea of ourselves is quite different. We think that we are what we think about ourselves. The matter is that we are dramatically differ from what other people do think of us. Telling yourself you are a brave or a good person does not necessarily mean who you really are. The real value comes with the answer to the question: “How have I contributed to the society?” And the real recognition of your value comes with the number of those you have had an impact on.
The idea of this is painful and difficult to accept. But real rules of life are such. If you learn to accept them, you will never feel treated unfairly again.
Law № 3. We bring up the concept of life fairness ourselves
We have been taught what right or wrong is since childhood, and we tend to believe that life is governed by the same concepts. Reality is different. Studying hard does not always guarantee succeeding in your exams. Working long hours might not be the first step to getting promoted. After having failed despite the efforts, we accuse our life of being unfair. But it has nothing to do with our failure; it is our distorted idea of what is fair which is to blame. People are not bad or unfair to us, they just have different attitudes, experiences, and feelings.
Change your attitudes
You have to realize that the idea of overall universal fairness is a real dystopia. Life cannot be fair or unfair to everyone. You have to change your attitude to it and face the reality. This will allow you to understand the world. The real understanding of the world is the key to your happiness and success.